Distilled Life

If a Realtor were trying to sell this house the word they would most likely use is cozy, or at the least that's what I imagine, as I've never bought a house or had a realtor try to describe a small one to me, all I have to go on is what I know from TV. The house wasn't bad though, white with blue trim, a nice yard, a neighborhood you could raise kids in. Inside it was about as big as you would expect to find in a cozy house, two small bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room and a kitchen, everything was normal about it, except for the floor to ceiling boxes, so many boxes pushing all the walls in, claustrophobic would be an apt word to describe it. This house was so full of boxes that while my friend David stood in the living room I was relegated to the hallway. This house was a living tomb, a testament to a life long lived.
"I can't believe anyone lived here..." David said doing an over dramatic look around "Seriously wow," he said now turning to face me.
"Yeah that was my gram-pa, he had a way of defying expectations, three years ago the doctor told him he only had six months to live, I think he out lived that diagnosis just to spite the doctor, and then on top of that he died of a heart attack instead of the cancer that should have killed him." I said
"So why are we here again?"
"Well apparently this is all mine"
"Nice of him to leave you all this" Dave said smiling like an asshole and patting a box making the stack wobble disconcertingly.
"That's not the least of it, I'm also the executor of his will, which shouldn't be to hard as I inherit his entire estate" I said, using finger quotes around 'estate'
"Wow, you must have been his favorite"
At that point I couldn't help but laugh, "Hardly the old fucker hated me."
"Then why?"
"Well apparently upon signing that piece of paper in the lawyers office, like the greedy moron my granddad was counting on me to be, I won all this, this and the massive debt attached to all this" I said kicking a box as hard as I could, my foot exploded in pain, apparently the box was filled with books. David laughed so hard he nearly fell over, and in nearly falling over he did cause one of the stacks of boxes to fall over, burying himself in cardboard, which despite my pain caused me to nearly wet myself. After David had dug himself out of the rubble and I'd wiped the tears from my eyes, he now sitting on the floor boxes all around looking up at me asked;
"So what are you gunna do?"
"Well I was thinking, burn this place to the ground, piss on the bastards grave and move to a country without an extradition treaty 'till the statute of limitations is up on the arson."
"Sensible and practical"
"I know ain't it"
"Seriously though, how deep you in?"
"Well I am seriously gunna piss on his grave"
"Fair enough, but how far are you in debt now?"
"Oh not bad only like 700 thousand or something"
"So you getting a second job?"
"Well as I don't like the one I have now, probably not, I'm hoping this shit in these boxes and the house are worth a fuck-ton, or at lest enough to break even and maybe buy a beer.
"Sound plan... hey speaking of beer, old people always have the best hooch, did your granddad have a stash somewhere"
"Don't much know, I've never been to his house before, but if I have to guess, I'd say if he had one it's in or behind one of these boxes"
"So what are we waiting for," David said with a facial expression that can only be described as a smirk, "Lets start going through the old codger's shit"
"Love to, but we can't right now, we have to pick Jenny up at the air port, I just wanted to see what I got in my deal with the devil"
"We?" David said standing up, nudging boxes out of the way with his legs, "Sounds more like a you job, I don't even like Jenny"
"Well I'm not going to back track to take your ass home so you can wait here and hope I remember to come back for you, or you can suck it up and take it like a man, it's not my fault Jenny broke up with you"
"You're such a Dickfaced Dickman, I fucking hate you, first you drag me out here then you force me to hand out with my bitchy ex..." David said looking like he might go into a full blown hissy fit at any moment, then taking a deep breath he said "Alright I'll come but just for the record, I broke up with her."
"Yeah Dave, that's why you called me at 3 in the morning drunk and crying."
"That never happened" he said glaring at me.
"I've said it before I'll say it again, just 'cus you are to drunk to remember doing `it doesn't mean it didn't happen"
With his hands over his ears, his back towards me heading towards the door David yelled "LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOUR! LA LA LA!"
He walked all the way to the car like that, I couldn't help but laugh.