The Night 04-07-06

Some days the stars seem to shine down just on me, others though it seems that nothing is enough. There are times late at night on the latter of those two days, where it feels that the coming day is being made in the sky to be hung over me like the sword of Damocles. That the abyss is just a step ahead and it’s too dark to see it and too late to stop anyway.
On these days I tend to drink.
It’s been one of those days.
“It’s getting late, I’ve got to work in the morning” the guy sitting on the bar stool to my right says to the lady sitting on his.
“Alright, I’ll call you tomorrow” The lady says.
And I think “It’s only midnight, I’ve got to the work in the morning too, but you don’t see me leaving all early and shit like a pussy.”
“That’s because you’re an alcoholic asshole” Says the guy to my right. As it turns out, I didn’t think it after all as it turns out I said it aloud.
“Sorry” I say.
“Yeah, I bet you are.” He says to me and to the lady he says “That would be great” and then he leaves. The lady for her part rolls her eyes, averts mine and orders another drink from the bartender, for mine I move a bar stool to the right and get another drink of my own.

Next thing I know it’s morning proper, my alarm is going off, and the lady is next to me in my bed. I drink too much. An awkward situation to be sure; the question is how do you ask somebody whose name you where probably told, but can’t seem to remember to leave so that you can go to work, with out seeming like a complete dick.
So I do the only thing I can, I put my pants on and leave. It’s too early to deal with that kind of shit.
Outside it’s still mostly dark, with a chance that the sun might say “Screw this” and not rise at all. It’s going to be another wonderful day, 20 minutes later I’m stuck in traffic and I know for sure it is.
At work I feel like I’m trapped in a desert, the scorching sun above me and sand all around me, then my phone will ring. Name, rank and department, I give in that order.
“Did you get the memo?”, “Have you sent the memo?”, or this time, my favorite “Can I see you in my office?” - Actually wait that’s a new one. So all the way down the hall I’m sweating, I’ve been wondering for a long time how long it would take for them to realize I’m dead weight, apparently that countdown is through.
We have lift off, and I open my boss’s door.
He’s not here though, so I sit and wait. Asshole calls me into his office then doesn’t have the common decency to be here 30 seconds later.
I wait for about 20 minutes, okay maybe not that long, maybe 7, I stand and walk to the other side of the desk, then using a conveniently placed sharpie, in big block letters across oak desk, that probably cost more than I make in a year, I write “Fuck you, I quit. Heart Me” and I walk out, but as I put my hand on the door knob, it opens and he walks in.
His lips are moving and words are coming out, but I can barely make them out over the thumping of my heart “Oh there you are, I went to you cube but you weren’t there, well anyway, I was looking at your file, you do some good work.” He might have kept talking, I don’t know because that’s when I passed out.

Next thing I know it’s morning, only there is no alarm, but there is a lady next to me dressed like a nurse. I think she is a nurse actually. Wait where am I? I sit up, and she says. “Good your awake, do you know where you are?” and that’s when I notice she has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and I say “Not exactly, but if you’re here it must be heaven.” And she half-heartedly laughs and says “Nope, never heard that before, I’ll go get the doctor.” She turns pushes open the curtain surrounding my bed and leaves pushing it closed behind her, and I think I’m in love.
The doctor comes in minutes later, apparently I had a heart attack, a minor one, but still uncommon for someone my age and the doctor just can’t understand it, but with proper diet and exercise I should be fine, he says it’s okay to go home, and I consider it briefly, but instead after being discharged decide to go to the bar and celebrate my good health.
I’ll toast to that.
Sitting next to me again is the guy from last night, or two nights ago I guess it would be now, only this time he’s to my left, and to his is the lady whose name I can’t remember. I’ve really got to stop coming here. She’s talking to him but every few seconds she looks over at me, and when the guy leaves really early again, she slides over next to me.
“I haven’t seen you in a while stranger.” She says.
I order another drink.
“Hi” I say because it’s all I can think of, and then my lips just keep moving “I just got out of the hospital.”
“Oh my god,” she says “are you all right.”
And I can’t help but wonder what she looks like naked, if you can’t remember it doesn’t count right?
I say “Nah, I’m fine though think I might have quit my job.”
“Wow, you’re just full of stories aren’t you?”
“Today I am, really I’m just a boring guy.”
She leans in and kisses me on the forehead, and I desperately try to remember her name.
Some days the stars shine just for you, and others you drink to much, wake up next to a lady who’s name escapes you, quite your job, and have a heart attack.
It could be worse.